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Do's and Don'ts: How to fail a course
- Enter the course as late as possible.
- Do not bother with a textbook.
- Put your social life ahead of everything else.
- Observe how strange the professor looks and treat him accordingly.
- Make yourself comfortable when you study; maybe you can even get in a little nap.
- Have friends nearby during the study period so that when the work gets dull, you will have someone to talk to.
- If you must study, try to lump it all together and get it over with.
- Keep your study table interesting. Place photographs, magazines, games, and other recreational devices around while you study.
- Never interrupt your reading by checking on what you have learned. Recitation is not very pleasant anyway.
- Avoid bothering with notebooks unless you want to doodle during the lecture.
- Remind yourself frequently of how dull the course is.
- Stay up all night before important examinations. You can spend the first half of the evening discussing your determination to “cram” and the second half drinking coffee and complaining.
- Write your examination paper rapidly. Glance at the questions and then put down your first impression.
- When out of class, forget the facts you have learned there. Do not let academic work get mixed up with your daily life.
- When in the lab, work hurriedly. Do not waste time worrying about what is going on.
- Ignore dictionaries. That’s what spell check is for, write?
- Remember that it’s success in life that counts. Never let extraneous matters such as grades interfere with this objective.
- By changing your mind about your curriculum after school starts, you should be able to avoid classes until the second or third week.
- Never, ever talk to your professor, especially if you don’t understand the material he’s teaching in class. That would make you look stupid.
- Do not try to discuss ideas brought up in class with others; they may have a different interpretation and may only confuse you.
- If tutors or review sessions are available to you, do not go; you will only be wasting your time.
- Do not check test files to see if your professor has any old tests that you can study from. This will only be more work for you.